"Did It Hurt Me To Be Born?"

Yesterday Catherine looked through her baby scrapbooks.  In it we have a few pictures of her birth, which was by c-section.  All of the shots are somewhat vague and you have to know what is happening to understand the pictures.  But they got Catherine's little mind working.

She asked me if I was asleep or awake during the surgery (she has had surgeries herself when she was awake, sedated, or completely anesthetized - so she knows that surgery can be performed in a number of ways).  I told her I was awake but the doctors had given me some strong "pain go-away medicine."

She asked me what I did during the surgery.  I told her that I listened to the doctors and nurses talking to each other.  Then, I listened to her (Catherine) cry as soon as she was born.

When I told her she cried when she was born, she gasped and asked "Did it hurt me to be born?  Why did I cry?  Did I get a boo-boo coming out of your tummy?"

I had never thought that my answer would have elicited that kind of a reaction.  Fortunately, I was able to think on my feet and reassure her that all was well.  I said "No you were not hurt.  You just didn't know any words yet because you had just been born.  But, you wanted to let all of us know you were there.  It was your way of saying "Hi!" 

This seemed like a logical explanation to her, so I was relieved.  I wasn't ready to tell her that less than half of the children with her condition survive to birth and that her cries were joyous sounds.  I wasn't ready to tell her that I knew that she would be taken immediately across town via ambulance to a children's hospital, leaving me in the birthing hospital for 48 hours by myself (Robby went with her in the ambulance).  I wasn't ready to tell her that another half of the babies with her condition do not survive the removal of the tumor.  I wasn't ready to tell her of my very real fear that "motherhood" to me would consist merely of hearing my baby cry and then lying in a bed across town while my child was cared for my nurses and then died. 

Instead I was able to pacify her curiosity with the explanation that she simply didn't know any words yet, being only 10 seconds old.

Will She Come Back?

We went to my father's house for Easter dinner.  For several days that week, we had been talking about the Easter story with the girls.  We explained Palm Sunday, the Last Supper, the washing of the feet, the crown of thorns, the nailing on the cross, Jesus' death, and the empty tomb. 

During dinner, Catherine asked where my mother was.  I told her that she died. 

Catherine asked "Why?"  I didn't want to say that my mother had died of cancer, because I don't want Catherine to think that cancer equals death.  I want her to believe that she will be fine even though she had cancer.

So I had to think of an answer on the fly, at the dinner table.  I said "It was her time."

Catherine said "OK."  Than she paused for a moment and said "Will she come back like Jesus did?"

Wow.  I guess she was paying attention to our Easter lessons.  I answered her question with "No, sweetie.  Only Jesus can come back to life after dying."

With a child-like faith, Catherine said "OK."  And our Easter dinner resumed.

Did God Make Barney?

Every night we read stories from the various children’s Bibles. Noah is one of Catherine’s favorite stories. She even has a song that Robby taught her about it, as well as a toy ark and pairs of toy animals.

While we are riding in the car, Catherine frequently asks me tons of questions. She sometimes gets in a WHY PHASE and asks tons of WHY questions. Why is the sky blue? Why are we in the car? Why are giraffe’s tall? Why are zebras black and white? Why do I have two arms? It amazes me what details she considers … things I have given absolutely no thought. I am so much more concerned with the details of my agenda and my to do list to think about the details Catherine asks me about.

I try to answer as many of Catherine’s questions as I can. Giraffes have to be tall to eat the leaves off the trees. You have two arms so you can hug your Mommy. We are n the car because it is too far to walk to your school.

But, I truly do not know the answers to all of her questions. Perhaps I should have paid attention more in school. I have no idea why the sky is blue. Catherine does not have the patience to wait for me to research the issue. She wants an answer now. So I answer “because God made it blue.”

One day Catherine had animals on her mind and asked me tons of questions about animals. Zebras are black and white because God made them that way. Frogs are green because God made them that way. After my using my default answer “because God made it that way” tons of times, Catherine asked me if God made ALL of the animals.

I was so proud of Catherine because she was demonstrating deductive reasoning skills – she had taken a collection of facts and drawn a conclusion which was reasonable and correct. Logic had ruled and my daughter was developing her critical thinking skills!!

So I answered Catherine’s question and said “Yes, God made ALL the animals.” Her next question threw me for a loop. Catherine said “So God made Barney too?”

Oops!! I had clearly forgotten that small children do not always understand the difference between real and pretend. What should I say? Both of my girls love Barney. He is probably the most important animal she knows. Should I tell her he is a man made creation that God had no part in creating? Would it crush her if I tell her he isn’t real?

As always, I only have about fifteen seconds to think of an answer to Catherine’s difficult question. So I said “God made the dinosaurs.”

What is God's Birthday?

I have decided to start a new section on my blog called Tough Questions. These are questions that my kids ask me which stop me in my tracks. Questions I either don’t know how to answer or am completely surprised my child asked me. I want to remember these questions years from now, so I will record some of those questions here.

A few months ago we taught Catherine when her birthday is – August 26. She asked when my birthday was, Daddy’s, sister’s, Grandpa’s. So, we taught her everyone’s birthday. She has an amazing memory and learns things very quickly.

A few times a week I quiz Catherine on her address, her first and last name’s spelling, the days of the week, my phone number, Daddy’s phone number, and all of our birthdays. I usually do this while we are in the car driving somewhere.

Yesterday Catherine asked me when Addison’s birthday was (her cousin). Then she asked about Dylan (her other cousin), Peter (her uncle), and Lynn (her aunt). Then Catherine said to me “when is God’s birthday?”

My first reaction was to explain that God transcends our understanding of physical life and that He has always been in existence, even before He created the earth. Should I tell her that God wasn’t born, doesn’t age, and will never die?

Fortunately, before I could speak, I remembered that Catherine is only 4 and advanced theology may confuse her. Then I thought of the trinity. Of course, we have yet to discuss the trinity with Catherine. But, she knows that Jesus was a person. So, because He was a person, He must have a birthday which Catherine can understand.

While I was thinking, Catherine repeated her question “When is God’s birthday?” I had rattled off everyone else’s birthday instantly. Yet I had to think about God’s birthday. I answered the question with “December 25,” we call that day Christmas.