Crude Talk

As I have mentioned before, it still surprises me when Catherine says things that she has learned elsewhere. For the first five years of her life she was in such a protected environment with us and a small group of caretakers that I felt like I had a pretty good idea of everything she saw, heard and experienced.

Two weeks ago while driving in the car I heard Catherine recite the following poem, while laughing:

Trick or treat
Give me something good to eat
If you don’t I don’t care
I’ll just pull down your underwear

What!?! I foggily remembered that poem from my childhood, so was a little surprised that in the past three decades children still recite that poem and still find humor in it. But I have been working in juvenile court for 15 years with deprived and delinquent children. There is nothing funny about sexual assault and ripping someone else’s clothes off.

So I asked Catherine where she learned that poem. She said “on the hayride.” On Halloween our neighborhood hosts a huge party which includes crafts, dinner, games and a hayride. Most of the children are older than Catherine, so it made total sense to me that she learned the poem on that hayride.

But I was torn – what should I do when she is making a joke about pulling down someone’s underwear? I was conflicted with whether I should ignore the statement and hope she forgets about it or use it as a teaching opportunity and explain what is right and wrong.

I decided to ignore the statement and hope she forgets about it. But, over the next week she continued to repeat the poem incessantly, telling it to her sister and laughing every time. So, I had to address the issue. I explained to Catherine that it was OK to say the poem, but that she was never allowed to pull down someone else’s underwear and no one was allowed to pull down her underwear. Hopefully, my lesson was sufficient. We have never had any reports of her trying to pull down someone else’s underwear or someone trying to pull down her underwear, but I wanted to make sure she knew that it was not funny.

Catherine the Comedian

Recently Catherine has started telling us jokes. It is such a strange experience to have her come home and repeat things that she has heard and learned from school and friends. For example, we had the following conversation while driving:

Catherine: Knock, knock!
Me: Who’s there?
C: Pepper!
Me: Pepper who?
C: Pepperoni!!

At this point Catherine burst into hysterical laughter, cackling as much as possible while strapped into five point restraints in a car seat. Sabrina thought Catherine’s reaction was funny, and began laughing hysterically too. I wondered what was funny. I thought about explaining to Catherine that knock-knock jokes usually involve a play on the word “who.”

Then Catherine said: Daddy, knock knock!
Daddy: Who’s there?
C: Pepper!
Daddy: Pepper who?
C: Pepperoni!!

Again, hysterical laughter from both girls in the back seat.

Catherine: Let’s do it again! Mommy, knock, knock!
Me: Who’s there?
C: Pepper!
Me: Pepper who?
C: Pepperoni!!

More laughter, with some squeals thrown in.

Catherine: Daddy, knock knock!
Daddy: Who’s there?
C: Pepper!
Daddy: Pepper who?
C: Pepperoni!!

We repeated this conversation at least a dozen times. Each time, both girls cracked up like it was the funniest thing they had ever heard. I wondered if I should explain that a joke is funny the first time and loses its effect when repeated too much. But, we arrived at our destination and so it was time to end this comedic experience.

Touching the Sun

Sabrina is learning colors, so we frequently play a game of naming things that are a particular color. A few days ago, the color we discussed was yellow. So the girls gave the expected answers: banana (Sabrina always names a food when we play this game), lemon, Big Bird ...

Catherine said "the sun." I said "yes, you're right."

Catherine said "Can I touch the sun?" I said "No, it is too hot and too far away. You would burn your hand."

She said "I can touch the moon. But it is not yellow. It is cold." How does she know the moon is cold?

I said "Yes, you can touch the moon, except it is very far away."

Catherine said "I can fly in a plane and go touch the moon." She is such a good problem solver!

So I said "Actually, Catherine you will need to fly in a spaceship to get to the moon. It is too far to take a plane." I thought about trying to explain the concepts of the Earth's atmosphere and outerspace, but decided I did not know enough about that topic to handle too many questions.

Color Lesson

For months now we have been trying to teach Sabrina (who is 2) her colors. I got to overhear Catherine giving Sabrina a mini-lesson in colors while driving (I love the tangents Sabrina takes!):

Catherine: Sabrina, what color is an apple?

Sabrina: Blue!

Catherine: No, try again.

Sabrina: Yellow!

Catherine: No, bananas are yellow. What color are apples?

Sabrina: Apples! Mouth! Eat!

Catherine: Apples are red, Sabrina.

Sabrina: Daddy! Where's Daddy?

Catherine: Daddy will meet us at home.

"I'm Telling Daddy"

A conversation I had with Catherine while driving home from church this morning (Sabrina was there, just listening - Robby stayed late at church so he could help with shooting video during the service):

Catherine: Mommy, can I have your iPhone?

Me: Not right now, Catherine.

Catherine: When you get to a stop light?

Me: There won't be a stoplight on this road.

Catherine: Then give it to me now.

Me: I can't, this is a curvy road and it is not safe for me to hand it to you now.

Catherine: Why are you driving on a curvy road, Mommy?

Me: Because that is the road between church and home.

Catherine: I'm telling Daddy you were driving on a curvy road!

Me: OK Catherine, you tell him.

Yes ... No

Several times a week, in fact almost every day, I find myself driving with both girls in the backseat. Now that they are both vocal, I get the distinct pleasure of overhearing the deep, meaningful discussions between a two year old and a four year old. Today's conversation quickly became an argument:

Catherine (the four year old): Sabrina, you are my sister.

Sabrina (the two year old): No, I'm not.

Catherine: Yes you are.

Sabrina: No.

Catherine: Yes.

Sabrina: No.

Catherine: Yes.

Sabrina: No.

Catherine (yelling at this point): MOMMY! Sabrina says she's not my sister!! Tell her she is!!

Sabrina: No!